The Eyes Are Alive!!

Ms Tyra Banks was furiously scolding the models, once again, in the America Next Top Model, for not having expressive eyes. She then went on to demonstrate her perfect “eyes-that-smile” look without moving the mouth.

Immediately, the princess got hold of a mirror and start looking at her soulless eyes that had been drained of all its enthusiasm and smiles. The princess’s eyes were a sad reflection of their past glories.

In her heyday, the princess also had her signature eye. I call them the “Bambi Doe-Eye”.

This is a very very difficult expression to master. Inherently, you need a pair of pearly round eyes. If not, you are out!!

And it cannot be 2- dimensional, it has to be textured, something mysterious in the form of innocent eyes.

Over the years, the princess perfected the art of seduction through her innocence doe-eyes, proving to all that innocence can be sensual too.

And my killer move? The interview doe-eyed look which always gets me the job!

This is a slight variation of the seduction doe-eye look; just a subtle smile in the eyes and less of a slut.

But I guess, to the untrained eyes, the princess would just be like Zoolander doing his different poses.

No matter, the only celebrity that perhaps could challenge the princess would have to be Britney Spears.

And if Britney is making her comeback after a disastrous marriage, so can the princess & her eyes.

Move Over, Ms Tyra! Make space for the Princess!

So Now GoodBye

The princess often wonders what happens when you realised that two of us are not the same. Would you harden your heart to say goodbye or try to make things work out through compromise?

Can love still work if the things we want are different? And what is the common ground to stay together?

When it is love so hard, is it still called love? Or have I stayed for way too long?

And I (breaks into a song),

Remember when I saw you for the first time
I never thought you'd be mine
Then we went ahead and fell in love
Heaven was a common ground
We were never coming down
The two of us we had more than enough
You and I are not the same
To you love is just a game
Things will never be the same again

So now goodbye
This time I will be gone goodbye
Stayed for way too long
Started out with trust
But it isn't just about the good times baby

Remember all the promises we swore to
Can't say I didn't warn you
How I did adore you way back then (I did adore you adore you)
Ohhhhh
But you broke a solemn vow
Ha! you're paying for it now
Wouldn't you expect more from a friend
You and I are not the same
To you love is just a game
Things will never be the same again

So now goodbye
This time I will be gone goodbye
I stayed for way too long
I don't need you now
And I am oh so tired of excuses baby

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

This time will be gone goodbye
Stayed for way to long this time
It all started out with trust
But it isn't about the good times baby

(Kylie)

So Goodbye, my dear. For the last time.

The Socialite

Barely even a month at her new workplace, the princess is already well-known for her expensive taste and elegant class. And so, it would only seem natural that she be tasked to be in charge of the department’s next celebratory event.

Ever the socialite-at-heart, she decided that her Martha Stewart-meets-Donnatella Versace theme could be an instant hit where outrageous fashion makes peace with motherly family feast.

Then, came the shocker: It’s a ten-dollar per head budget.

I mean, come on, even a commoner’s caterer wouldn’t get out of bed for this kind of petty fee.

This is an impossible task for the impeccable princess. Immediately, the princess went from high class to low class disgracefully; choosing the most convenient caterer at the office cafeteria (whose food is well-known to be, well, unexciting and at times, inedible) – that’s why they do it for ten bucks!

Another shocker came three days later at the event itself, and it goes like this:
“The fish cake is too Salty!”
“The noodle is too Blend!”
“Where is the chicken in the Chicken Pie?!”
“Is that all?”

I mean, the princess knew that this was going to be a thankless task but I am sure that the people must know that this is the quality that ten dollar can buy.

So it goes to show, in life, some beggars can be choosers and princess can be losers.

And lesson learnt is never agree to anything (even to a relationship) until the price is right!

Lady Elephant (by Celebrity Writer - Ms Vulgar)

( Ms Vulgar second entry in Plastic Princess's blog..... As the blog princess, i have graciously publish Ms Vulgar Penis' unedited work of bizzare imagination. )


It’s been a long time since VP made her debut on plastic’s blog.

Guess what, I’m back again. After paris and bali, I am back to tell the story of the other zoo in Singapore. I am sure all of you who stay in Singapore have been to the Singapore zoological garden at Mandai road but I’m sure most of you have not been to the one that I work in, at orchard road.

This zoo is made up of just a few animals but all really ferocious and ready to bite anytime. In this zoo, you can find the lady elephant, the scaredy mouse, the butterfly, the lady pig and the mother hen.

Day in day out, VP has to take care of all these animals in the zoo to make sure that they do not fight with each other but sometimes, they get so ferocious that they fight with VP too. That’s when my NBCB, CCB, SFB will come out silently in my heart.

I guess among all the animals in this zoo, the one that I can’t stand most is lady elephant. Let me elaborate more on lady elephant…. Lady elephant is ….. HUGE for a lady.

No, she is not fat but just huge.

She often thinks she is the most stylish animal in the office but in actual fact she is not as she walks like a gangster and behave like one.

Lady elephant doesn’t like Singapore men as she complained that they are too small size. She however, particularly like Korean, Japanese and Caucasians. At times, when she complained about Singaporean men being too small, I just feel like telling her that it should be the other way round, she is too big for Singaporean men. It reminds me of Sex in the city when Samantha complained about the size of James’ LJ. James rebutted that she has a big CB.

That was hilarious.

Lady elephant was in Paris with me as I brought her along for the freak show that took place once a year in Europe. She however is a disappointment, not only did she not get the champion for the freak show, she was running around Paris flaunting her big CB to all the ang mohs there. It seems like she can’t live or dine without ang mohs as she will insist on looking for ang mohs during meal time and would pull a long face if there is no ang moh to dine with her.

I guess I have written enough about lady elephant. More to come as the days go by.

In the meantime, I better standby some salt in the office in the event that lady elephant’s CB gets too itchy due to a lack of ang moh here, I can stuff the salt into her CB to stop the itch.

Princess Feng Shui

The princess is a firm believer of Feng Shui, even at the expense of breaking her neck with heaps and heaps of crystal pendants ever known to man.

She is a conservative lady at heart, steep in traditional practices and values; trying to fit into modern demands of the world by infusing ancient wisdom into daily living.

In her office, she arranges her furniture and decors strictly in accordance to the Bagua arrangement.

And after the whirlwind shifting of the office equipments, she was finally pleased with herself; Even though now the stationary table is miles away from me and the files are not within the reach of my petite arms.

But no matter the inconvenience, the princess endures as she believes

Love will come,
Career will soar, and
Health and prosperity will rush to the princess

Now, with everything rightly put in place, the princess will just have to wait for her cute little fishes and the cheery potted flowers to help her snag the hunk of her life. :)

The Morning After

The princess wakes up the morning after, feeling tired and haggard, and she wonders inside her heart: “So, this is all there is to life?”

Day after day, week after week and year after year, the princess struggles to give meaning to her life, enriching it with love, money, career and a grand dream of the perfect life by following her heart.

She doesn’t want to be a fish spending its whole life in a bowl, meaningless and futile. She doesn’t want to be the numerous people she sees around her going through life lost and aimless.

Then, in a matrix-like vision gained somewhere between breakfast and dozing off back to sleep, the princess realises that life’s meaning is nothing but merely what we make of it.

The essence of life is in its everyday living, appreciating every moment. And as we constantly try to fill our lives with meanings, with cravings and desires, it distracts us from living it the more.

The princess hopes one day, she will wake up one morning after, free from the constant search for the meaning of life; only to smell the roses and the air, living each moment as it is there; appreciating life, with or without meaning to it.

Project Runaway Love

Things are never easy when it comes to love, as a dear friend of the princess just found out.

Having been on dates on and off for several months now, the poor friend of the princess often complain that she hadn’t the slightest idea what went wrong with each of the dates that were all going seemingly well.

And just like that, she will not be getting calls or response from the dates anymore without reasons…

At this point, the princess could not resist having this very inappropriate thought bubble in my head. I imagined myself as Heidi talking to her:

“You know what they say in Love, one day you are in, and the next day you are out!”

But the Princess does know how she feels. Sometimes, things are so unexplainable and there could be a billion reasons. Just like project runway, you will never understand why the worst of the lot remains in the game week after week.

At times, we just have to accept things as they are and let faith bring us through the difficult times.

And as what an optimist could say: “One day you are out, the next day you are in!”

Royal Destinies Fulfilled

The Queen left as fast as she came; leaving a trail of destruction along her way. It seems these days, there are more questions than answers, wherever part of the world you may be staying.

And in a year so filled with world-wide unrests and personal let-downs, there appears to be little cause for rejoicing at this short reunion in the heart of our tropical paradise.

Nearing the end of a year, the Princess wonders what’s in store for her in the coming year. She, and of course the Queen, cant help but wonder if the new year would bring new career highlights, a wonderful blissful love, good health, best friends and world peace at long last.

In the sea of uncertainties, would there finally be an answer which leads to a life of good old fashion love and kindness.

Being THE supermodels of the world, Plastic Princess & The Queen are never one whom would give up a good fight when we see one. So when our chips are down, our make-ups will be up.

Facing the world with new make-up, new hopes and new perspectives; Perhaps, there could really be a chance for our royal destinies to be fullfilled.