Lady Elephant (by Celebrity Writer - Ms Vulgar)

( Ms Vulgar second entry in Plastic Princess's blog..... As the blog princess, i have graciously publish Ms Vulgar Penis' unedited work of bizzare imagination. )


It’s been a long time since VP made her debut on plastic’s blog.

Guess what, I’m back again. After paris and bali, I am back to tell the story of the other zoo in Singapore. I am sure all of you who stay in Singapore have been to the Singapore zoological garden at Mandai road but I’m sure most of you have not been to the one that I work in, at orchard road.

This zoo is made up of just a few animals but all really ferocious and ready to bite anytime. In this zoo, you can find the lady elephant, the scaredy mouse, the butterfly, the lady pig and the mother hen.

Day in day out, VP has to take care of all these animals in the zoo to make sure that they do not fight with each other but sometimes, they get so ferocious that they fight with VP too. That’s when my NBCB, CCB, SFB will come out silently in my heart.

I guess among all the animals in this zoo, the one that I can’t stand most is lady elephant. Let me elaborate more on lady elephant…. Lady elephant is ….. HUGE for a lady.

No, she is not fat but just huge.

She often thinks she is the most stylish animal in the office but in actual fact she is not as she walks like a gangster and behave like one.

Lady elephant doesn’t like Singapore men as she complained that they are too small size. She however, particularly like Korean, Japanese and Caucasians. At times, when she complained about Singaporean men being too small, I just feel like telling her that it should be the other way round, she is too big for Singaporean men. It reminds me of Sex in the city when Samantha complained about the size of James’ LJ. James rebutted that she has a big CB.

That was hilarious.

Lady elephant was in Paris with me as I brought her along for the freak show that took place once a year in Europe. She however is a disappointment, not only did she not get the champion for the freak show, she was running around Paris flaunting her big CB to all the ang mohs there. It seems like she can’t live or dine without ang mohs as she will insist on looking for ang mohs during meal time and would pull a long face if there is no ang moh to dine with her.

I guess I have written enough about lady elephant. More to come as the days go by.

In the meantime, I better standby some salt in the office in the event that lady elephant’s CB gets too itchy due to a lack of ang moh here, I can stuff the salt into her CB to stop the itch.