In a flurry of activities, 2007 has almost come to an end. While a lot has happened during the year, it all seemed to be leading back to the same place where the princess started; as if I had been running in circles all this time.
Still, there are no signs of love & monetary success or that celebrity-supermodel-status that the princess had always been hoping for all these years.
And I thought 2007 could be the year that things were going to happen.
Apparently not. But, whatever!
Like a true-blue fashionista, the most important thing the princess can do is to do a Look-Back of 2007 and predict the hottest trends in 2008.
And the Plastic Princess’ Top Picks are:
1) The best relationship a woman can have, is with herself - Ex-original supermodel, Linda E of New York, quoted (from Sex and the City).
2) The Party is so OVER! There is life beyond endless partying
3) With friends like these, who needs enemies? Frenemies, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
4) When the going gets tough, the tough gets back to basics. Simplicity is truly the key to happiness.
5) The best boyfriend one can ever have, might not need to be the richest, smartest or best-looking (and Frumpy housewife should know)
6) Live your life like a reality show. Dream big.
7) Sadly, inner beauty is over-rated. Sometimes, looking good is all it takes.
8) In the wave of green movement, recycled boyfriends could be the next “IT” thing.
9) Empowerment comes hand in hand with learning to let go.
AND…. The top trend in 2008 is………….
10) Femininity is the new black
Cheers,
Plastic Princess
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Keeping Up with the Jones
Just a while ago, having a little blog seemed to be the latest fad in life. Now, the new darling of the moment appears to be the so-hip-it-bleeds: FaceBook.
The princess was so tempted to jump onto the glamorous bandwagon after numerous kind requests by friends to do so, hinting at the possibilities of hooking up with new eligible friends and re-making old acquaintances.
Somehow, the princess didn’t.
Perhaps, just the thought of the constant need to catch up with the latest fad had drained all enthusiasm off the princess.
These days, it just is so difficult to keep up with times and live up to expectations. Everything is going at such neckbreaking speed, people and connections are getting so complex by the minute.
Back at the ever-so-popular club the other night, the princess was seized by a sudden bout of panic attack in the middle of the body packed dance floor. Waves and waves of new faces came crashing in; each wave more beautiful than the one before.
Perfect bodies sculpted by hours in the gym, that youthful look not yet savaged by the time and the air of confidence that permeates as they gyrate across the floor. It seems, in a world so superficial; everyone is so hell-bent to be the best.
Suddenly, like her fellow teen sensations in Hollywood, down-spiralling into a life of mess and despair; the plastic princess finally begins to share their pain & pressures while trying to make her own choice: Join in the madness and keep up with the Jones or quietly step away from it all.
The princess was so tempted to jump onto the glamorous bandwagon after numerous kind requests by friends to do so, hinting at the possibilities of hooking up with new eligible friends and re-making old acquaintances.
Somehow, the princess didn’t.
Perhaps, just the thought of the constant need to catch up with the latest fad had drained all enthusiasm off the princess.
These days, it just is so difficult to keep up with times and live up to expectations. Everything is going at such neckbreaking speed, people and connections are getting so complex by the minute.
Back at the ever-so-popular club the other night, the princess was seized by a sudden bout of panic attack in the middle of the body packed dance floor. Waves and waves of new faces came crashing in; each wave more beautiful than the one before.
Perfect bodies sculpted by hours in the gym, that youthful look not yet savaged by the time and the air of confidence that permeates as they gyrate across the floor. It seems, in a world so superficial; everyone is so hell-bent to be the best.
Suddenly, like her fellow teen sensations in Hollywood, down-spiralling into a life of mess and despair; the plastic princess finally begins to share their pain & pressures while trying to make her own choice: Join in the madness and keep up with the Jones or quietly step away from it all.
Monday, March 26, 2007
MIU MIU got a secret
The creative people at MIU MIU are really a bunch of fantastic freaks.... Its latest campaign featuring Lindsay L is absolutely mind blowing. Trust them to turn someone so Mainstream-Ms-Popular like Lindsay L into an unknown indie girl-liked woman; staying true to the classic MIU MIU quirkiness in this SPRING/SUMMER 2007 campaign.
Lindsay comes across as Alice-In-Wonderland meets Brenda Starr in this campaign which is incredibly surreal & totally mystifying.
There is something so Vintage yet so contemporary about the latest series of ads that one cant just help but take another look at it.
This is a great step for Lindsay L. Ever the party girl whom is on the verge of steering out of control, she redeems herself 100% with this out-of-the world collaboration with MIU MIU.
For MIU MIU, whom had seldom engage the likes of mainstream celebrity to launch their collection, had demonstrated the ability to create such a buzz without banking on or be adversely affected by the notoriety of Lindsay L.
This is a hard act for anyone to achieve; MIU MIU definitely deserves huge credit for the creative success of this campaign.
The princess being both a MIU MIU and Lindsay L fan is really pleased with this fabulous campaign that is so refreshing and unexpected. I am sure this is what is needed to give both fans and non-fans of the quirky fashion label and Lindsay L a whole new perspective.
Love Babe
Lady ‘V’ with her new found single status was quickly back to the dating scene, armed with her new-found freedom & a whole new philosophy when it comes to love.
However, just weeks into the dating arena, she has already declared the scene, or the lack of it, officially over. O… V…. E… R…, over!
Over, over, over!
And the princess must agree. These days there isn’t seemed to be a man good enough for the eligible princess and her dear Lady ‘V’.
In a drought like this, we rather be sipping coffee at the hippest fashion café in town, discussing about love, rather than finding it.
Turning all philosophical again, Lady ‘V’ waxed: “Love is like couture, if it doesn’t fit exactly, it can be a disaster.”
Just when the princess wonders if a break-up can do miracles to a lady’s IQ, Lady ‘V’ confessed: “it’s from Sex & the City”.
Nonchalantly, she continued with her new theory of what kind of man gets attracted to what kind of woman, citing real-life examples to substantiate her points; getting the princess all excited about dating and finding love again.
Suddenly, the both of us seem raring to try out Lady ‘V’s new theory of love on innocent, hapless victims.
I guess, just like all these renewed concerns & fears on global warming, sometimes, all it takes is a whole new theory to ignite the old passion again.
However, just weeks into the dating arena, she has already declared the scene, or the lack of it, officially over. O… V…. E… R…, over!
Over, over, over!
And the princess must agree. These days there isn’t seemed to be a man good enough for the eligible princess and her dear Lady ‘V’.
In a drought like this, we rather be sipping coffee at the hippest fashion café in town, discussing about love, rather than finding it.
Turning all philosophical again, Lady ‘V’ waxed: “Love is like couture, if it doesn’t fit exactly, it can be a disaster.”
Just when the princess wonders if a break-up can do miracles to a lady’s IQ, Lady ‘V’ confessed: “it’s from Sex & the City”.
Nonchalantly, she continued with her new theory of what kind of man gets attracted to what kind of woman, citing real-life examples to substantiate her points; getting the princess all excited about dating and finding love again.
Suddenly, the both of us seem raring to try out Lady ‘V’s new theory of love on innocent, hapless victims.
I guess, just like all these renewed concerns & fears on global warming, sometimes, all it takes is a whole new theory to ignite the old passion again.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Ms VP - Trilogy - the 2nd part (Poke Chop Lice)
While I was waiting at the traffic junction between Beach road and SUNTEC, a aunty Ah
Lian, took out her ringing bling bling phone and answered. The moment she said Hello, I could almost at once picture myself whipping out my ”Certified True Ah
Lian” chop and chop it all over her face.
Anyway, this Ah Lian Aunty was talking to her equally Ah lian friend over the phone and I guess they must be talking about where to lunch and Ah Lian Aunty immediately
suggested the bery nice POKE CHOP LICE at the Shaw Tower food court. Upon hearing that, I started getting bitchy and scrutinized her conversation and I counted
how many times she mentioned Poke Chop Lice…. A grand total of 5 times. Imagine the agony I had to go through while waiting for the light to turn green. I had to subject myself to those totally absurd pronunciations. What does she want to Poke?? The Chop or the Lice?
In any case, she can’t poke cos she has no LJ, she only has a smelly CB that can be poked by Fat Lift Bastard “Golden Penis Award”.
Sometimes, I just don’t understand why people do not make the little effort to ensure that the words they speak sound right before they blurt it out of their CB
mouth. Another classic example of mispronounced word is COUPON… There are many ways of pronouncing this word. Coupun, Copon, Copun and the worst of all.
Kapun.
What the hell are those??
Only idiots who mouthed them will understand what they mean. Well, I guess sometimes the word is just too funny to be pronounced correctly by everyone. Another word that
can have many different versions of pronouncing is POKEMON. There are people who pronounce it as Pokimon, some pronounce as Pogaymon, others call it Pokaymun.
While Ms VP prefers to call it Poke-it-moan. Can you imagine how cool the toys or cartoon will be?? They are small little pets which you keep and instead of
releasing them from the ball for the battles, you poke it and it will moan. Each one has different ways to moan and whoever moans the most Sluttish will be crown the Poke-it-moan king.
Ok ok, guess VP is tired and it’s time for bed. So much for now and I will return with more.
Lian, took out her ringing bling bling phone and answered. The moment she said Hello, I could almost at once picture myself whipping out my ”Certified True Ah
Lian” chop and chop it all over her face.
Anyway, this Ah Lian Aunty was talking to her equally Ah lian friend over the phone and I guess they must be talking about where to lunch and Ah Lian Aunty immediately
suggested the bery nice POKE CHOP LICE at the Shaw Tower food court. Upon hearing that, I started getting bitchy and scrutinized her conversation and I counted
how many times she mentioned Poke Chop Lice…. A grand total of 5 times. Imagine the agony I had to go through while waiting for the light to turn green. I had to subject myself to those totally absurd pronunciations. What does she want to Poke?? The Chop or the Lice?
In any case, she can’t poke cos she has no LJ, she only has a smelly CB that can be poked by Fat Lift Bastard “Golden Penis Award”.
Sometimes, I just don’t understand why people do not make the little effort to ensure that the words they speak sound right before they blurt it out of their CB
mouth. Another classic example of mispronounced word is COUPON… There are many ways of pronouncing this word. Coupun, Copon, Copun and the worst of all.
Kapun.
What the hell are those??
Only idiots who mouthed them will understand what they mean. Well, I guess sometimes the word is just too funny to be pronounced correctly by everyone. Another word that
can have many different versions of pronouncing is POKEMON. There are people who pronounce it as Pokimon, some pronounce as Pogaymon, others call it Pokaymun.
While Ms VP prefers to call it Poke-it-moan. Can you imagine how cool the toys or cartoon will be?? They are small little pets which you keep and instead of
releasing them from the ball for the battles, you poke it and it will moan. Each one has different ways to moan and whoever moans the most Sluttish will be crown the Poke-it-moan king.
Ok ok, guess VP is tired and it’s time for bed. So much for now and I will return with more.
Why every gal thinks she is Carrie Bradshaw?
It is amazing that every gal whom seemed to be suffering from a bout of love trouble inevitably thinks she is in a ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ situation.“I can so relate to her”
“Me and my bf are so like Carrie and Mr Big…”
“Remember the episode on…., that was me!”
I guess when you are feeling low & down, the best thing that you can do is to romanticising your problems, make yourself the leading actress of your world.
And if that takes a little pain off your shoulders and gives you a little hope at the end of the day, why not?
After all, Carrie Bradshaw did finally snag her Mr Big after six seasons of on-off-on-off relationships.
But the funny thing is, no one wants to be Miranda...and I wonder why.
She has a good career, a good family and a good husband. Isn’t this what every woman wants? Maybe it is because of her lack of dress sense, the lack of designer shoes or the serious lack of a bunch of romantically failed relationships with hot hunky men.
And so my nagging suspicion is that, like Carrie Bradshaw, when it comes to failed relationships and personal dramas, sometimes we are subconsciously just asking for it…..
Love,
Princess Carrie Bradshaw
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The Lift Bitch / Lift Bastard
Presenting.... Celebrity Writer, Ms Vuglar Penis's latest piece of crude work..., Enjoy
Ok ok, I know I have been missing for sometime and I am sure some of you guys miss me. The fabulous Ms VP. But I can’t help it, it’s tough dealing with the animals at ‘The Other Zoo’ in Singapore. Everyday is a struggle for me to stay alive.
Well, I am gonna talk about the lift bitch/lift bastard today. I am sure some or even all of you who works or stay in high rise building would have experience the Lift Bitch/Lift Bastard (now on known as (LB)2). From Afar, even before boarding the lift, you would have noticed the(LB)2 . They will walk towards the lifts with folded
arms or clutching their IPOD/ Walkman/Handphone as if they are holding on to their “Golden Penis award”.
When the lift finally arrives, the (LB)2 will be one of the first to rush into the lift and stand next to the lift buttons panel. They will block every one from pressing the lift buttons with their boobs/tummy and will be rooted there till they reach their floor. Along the way, when the lift opens on other floors for others to get down, the (LB)2 will just stand there, rooted, continue holding on to their “Golden Penis Award” and not pressing the close button door when people alighted. They behave as if they are regurgitating their acceptance speech in their head for their “golden Penis Award”. This will conitinue all the way until they reach their floor. It’s like they are expecting others to press through their
boobies or fat tummy when they are standing right next to the panel blocking every one.
I always feel that there should be a “Special Operation Squard” to catch these (LB)2. Once spotted, the SOS will hand cuffed these (LB)2, take them to their special Headquarter, open up their head and insert a microchip into their head. The next time these (LB)2 take the lift and continue to clutch on to their “Golden Penis Award”,they would involuntarily collapse to the floor, take off their skirt/pants and start inserting the “Golden Penis Award” into their asshole. This will certainly
teach them what it means by “Pain in the ass” and that will definitely remind them to not be a “Pain in the ass” for their future Lift trips.
Sincerely
VP
Ok ok, I know I have been missing for sometime and I am sure some of you guys miss me. The fabulous Ms VP. But I can’t help it, it’s tough dealing with the animals at ‘The Other Zoo’ in Singapore. Everyday is a struggle for me to stay alive.
Well, I am gonna talk about the lift bitch/lift bastard today. I am sure some or even all of you who works or stay in high rise building would have experience the Lift Bitch/Lift Bastard (now on known as (LB)2). From Afar, even before boarding the lift, you would have noticed the(LB)2 . They will walk towards the lifts with folded
arms or clutching their IPOD/ Walkman/Handphone as if they are holding on to their “Golden Penis award”.
When the lift finally arrives, the (LB)2 will be one of the first to rush into the lift and stand next to the lift buttons panel. They will block every one from pressing the lift buttons with their boobs/tummy and will be rooted there till they reach their floor. Along the way, when the lift opens on other floors for others to get down, the (LB)2 will just stand there, rooted, continue holding on to their “Golden Penis Award” and not pressing the close button door when people alighted. They behave as if they are regurgitating their acceptance speech in their head for their “golden Penis Award”. This will conitinue all the way until they reach their floor. It’s like they are expecting others to press through their
boobies or fat tummy when they are standing right next to the panel blocking every one.
I always feel that there should be a “Special Operation Squard” to catch these (LB)2. Once spotted, the SOS will hand cuffed these (LB)2, take them to their special Headquarter, open up their head and insert a microchip into their head. The next time these (LB)2 take the lift and continue to clutch on to their “Golden Penis Award”,they would involuntarily collapse to the floor, take off their skirt/pants and start inserting the “Golden Penis Award” into their asshole. This will certainly
teach them what it means by “Pain in the ass” and that will definitely remind them to not be a “Pain in the ass” for their future Lift trips.
Sincerely
VP
Monday, January 15, 2007
Dying Ants
It was one of those unfortunate times.
The princess accidentally discovered a family of ants (all hundreds of them) hidden in the depth of her desk and she freaked out. At the split moment, she brutally massacred them without a second thought. Moments later, seeing them struggled with life under the poisonous spray of insecticide, the princess was somehow overwhelmed with guilt and fear.
I wondered if taking hundreds of life was going to cause irreparable damage to my karma so early in the new year? Can countless times of good work be offset by a single act of evil? Would these ants reincarnated and haunt me in their next life and when I sleep at night?
Then the princess begins to ponder over the fate and lives of these tiny creatures. Do they ever question if life holds a greater purpose for them other than working all day? Have they ever felt that they are a bunch of meaningless creatures just living in the world only to be sprayed and killed at the end of the day? Do they ever compare and complain about how fat or ugly they look in comparison? And how the rich ants get richer and the poor gets poorer?
Maybe they are just happy to die and be free from their troubles.
With that thought, the princess gingerly sweeps their remains off the desk and into bin before she says a little prayer and moves on with her life.
Perhaps, this is a reminder to the princess that life is usually brutally unfair most of the time, no one is indisposable and the world moves on with or without you in it.
The princess accidentally discovered a family of ants (all hundreds of them) hidden in the depth of her desk and she freaked out. At the split moment, she brutally massacred them without a second thought. Moments later, seeing them struggled with life under the poisonous spray of insecticide, the princess was somehow overwhelmed with guilt and fear.
I wondered if taking hundreds of life was going to cause irreparable damage to my karma so early in the new year? Can countless times of good work be offset by a single act of evil? Would these ants reincarnated and haunt me in their next life and when I sleep at night?
Then the princess begins to ponder over the fate and lives of these tiny creatures. Do they ever question if life holds a greater purpose for them other than working all day? Have they ever felt that they are a bunch of meaningless creatures just living in the world only to be sprayed and killed at the end of the day? Do they ever compare and complain about how fat or ugly they look in comparison? And how the rich ants get richer and the poor gets poorer?
Maybe they are just happy to die and be free from their troubles.
With that thought, the princess gingerly sweeps their remains off the desk and into bin before she says a little prayer and moves on with her life.
Perhaps, this is a reminder to the princess that life is usually brutally unfair most of the time, no one is indisposable and the world moves on with or without you in it.
Monday, January 08, 2007
The Perfect Year
2007, what a beautiful year!
After a rushed and turbulent 2006, the princess feels that things must be looking up in the New Year.
Emerging wiser and much more beautiful from taking all that shit in the past year, the princess feels totally equipped to breeze through this year with total grace and glamor.
And her only resolution this year is to be a dynamic woman using 10 time-tested tricks up her sleeve:
1) Always dress in power suit and 4” heels;
2) Never smile, only purse the lips if really required;
3) Eludes that dangerous confident sex appeal 24/7;
4) Be always ready to bark at the less efficient minions around;
5) Be condescending;
6) Stride like Naomi Campbell every time;
7) Demand only the best;
8) Get a successful man, failing which, get a toy boy;
9) Behaves like you know everything; and
10) Moisturise, Moisturise, Moisturise.
So, cheers to 2007!
New year, New hope, New princess.
After a rushed and turbulent 2006, the princess feels that things must be looking up in the New Year.
Emerging wiser and much more beautiful from taking all that shit in the past year, the princess feels totally equipped to breeze through this year with total grace and glamor.
And her only resolution this year is to be a dynamic woman using 10 time-tested tricks up her sleeve:
1) Always dress in power suit and 4” heels;
2) Never smile, only purse the lips if really required;
3) Eludes that dangerous confident sex appeal 24/7;
4) Be always ready to bark at the less efficient minions around;
5) Be condescending;
6) Stride like Naomi Campbell every time;
7) Demand only the best;
8) Get a successful man, failing which, get a toy boy;
9) Behaves like you know everything; and
10) Moisturise, Moisturise, Moisturise.
So, cheers to 2007!
New year, New hope, New princess.
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