Some mornings I wake up feeling like Nicole Kidman in The Hours; not feeling anything in particular, as if disconnected from the real world and not really knowing how to be part of it…... A dreaded feeling it is; especially with the rain beating heavily outside my house while I stayed motionlessly inside looking out wondering if there is meaning to it all.
The hours, it seems, are harder and harder to bear as I sense my will fading gradually away from me. Suddenly, I feel her pain and fears. I begin to see myself in Nicole’s frumpy dress with disheveled hair, putting pebbles into my pockets and walking slowly towards the pond in an attempt to end time.
Strangely, that happens to be my favorite scene from the show; to end your life under the weight of the world. Her desperate attempt revealed a sense of hopelessness to her cause and search for solutions. You can’t help but agree with her that there is no better way.
But I have no frumpy dress, disheveled hairstyle or any pebbles lying around. Not to mention, of course, there is no pond in the vicinity. Furthermore, I got to stay alive and awake enough to dress up and make it to work. It is times like this where I truly wish that I am a truly talented and rich movie star like Nicole Kidman….
2 comments:
Sometimes i wake up feeling like Meryl Streep from the Hours too.
dear Princess P,
I too, share the same feeling sometimes, waking up one morning feeling disconnected..
come to think of it, feeling disconnected at times might not be as bad, cos that's time u can step out and look at things/people from an outsider's perspective..
good eh..
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